Ugh...

I don't know if I've said this before....but, I hate kidney infections!

This is my first one for the year...but I seem to have one at least every other month. I never had one until my first one about two years ago, and now I have them all the time...It's terrible.

Anyway, just thought I'd share.

My Mommy Has Spoken

My mommy had a few more words to say, and she wanted me to share. Just so *everyone* knows what she has to say: (Pete is my daddy, just fyi)


I thought about all this fighting with the "he said, she said," and want to make something perfectly clear. New Years Eve Oma was *not* kicked out. The reason she was taken home is because she said she was tired and needed some sleep and she had no place to go. She can't drive so I told her "Don't worry about that, Oma, Pete will take you home so you can...." and before I could finish my sentence, which was going to be "so you can get some sleep," she threw the biggest hissy fit and said hurtful and bad things. This was at 9:30pm and everyone knows that my New Years Eve parties last until 5:00am or longer. I knew she wasn't going to be able to stay up that long.
The other comments before this happened is typical behavior and everyone tried to ignore it, but let me say we know that if Oma doesn't get her sleep, she gets worse as time goes on, not just with her behavior but her stumbling and falling down. I didn't want that to happen so I offered her a ride home. If that is wrong then so be it!
No matter what anyone said or did after that was any good. Oma made up her mind she was being kicked out and unwanted etc. The things she said before and now and that night is unacceptable behavior. No excuses anymore. I put my foot down. It must stop!
I feel it is sad that it has come to this but nothing can be done. Her mind is made up and she will never see or believe the truth of it. Pete said he was sorry her feelings were hurt and that she is loved but that is not good enough for her. She can and will have her way no matter what.

So now you know, I posted this so those who are in the dark can understand the why and how the Boggs house is divided.

For those who know my history, they know that I had an unhappy childhood. I don't usually let it get to me, or so I thought; However, I learned something this week. I made a terrible mistake as a parent.

When a child is abused and beat down and made to feel they are not worth anything they grow up and let others treat them the same way because they don't know any different. My way was to try and be the peacekeeper no matter what the cost. I let people run over me and mistreat me, but I just went back for more just so the fighting would stop. So peace would be kept and I could have my family and friends. I used to think I must have done something to deserve it. I was wrong!
The mistake I made was letting my children see me being treated this way and not having enough self respect to put a stop to it. You see children learn from their parents and my kids learned to take crap and to be the peacekeeper but got run over in their lives in the process. I realize now what I have done but I can say I am so proud of my girls for making the change and saying, "Hey stop that! I am worth something and don't need to take this crap any longer!"
I learned something from my girls. I have value and my opinions count and you can't treat me this way anymore. I will say I am sorry when *I* have done something wrong but not just to keep the peace.
If you are a young parent…heed these words… don't let people talk down to you and push you around especially in front of your children. Kids are always watching and learning.

See you can teach an old dog new tricks!

On A Happier Note

I took pictures!

I just got two announcements in the mail from my sister. My niece:



and I took pictures of my housewarming gifts.

I got new blinds and curtains for my dining room and kitchen, but the ones I got for the Kitchen didn't fit, they were too short. So! Roger and I took them back and got the cutest curtains. Right now, just the Valance is up, cause we need another rod.

Dining room first:



Now the kitchen window:



and I got an Oil Lamp from my sissy and her hubby:

Housewarming

**Warning**
May be an even longer rant, only without pictures this time...just thought I'd warn you.

So, I mentioned that I was having a housewarming on Saturday. I wanted to talk about some things that I promised to clarify and also how the party went.

I guess we'll start with how the party went. I made a chicken, mushroom type gravy that you put over rice, with salad, and carrots as the veggies. I think it was a hit, and everyone enjoyed my cooking, which is a relief! ;o) For dessert, I made Watergate Salad, which also seemed to be a big hit. After everyone was stuffed, food was put away and most everyone started watching Smokin' Aces. My mom, dad and I didn't partake in the movie, because we were talking and discussing other matters. When the movie ended, most of us participated in a fun round of penny ante poker. I didn't even win a hand...awww...*pouts* My mom, dad, and aunt went home and the rest of us participated in Dance Dance Revolution matches. DDR is so much fun when you have a group of people willing to try it out and have some fun. When we were all pooped out from dancing our booties off, we split up and did different things. Some were watching TV in the office, some were watching TV in the living room, some of us stayed in the bedroom (where I had DDR set up) and talked. Eventually most of us gravitated to the office and ended up watching Snakes on a Place. Then everyone went home. I was told that everyone had fun, and I sure hope so!

Okay...so on to the not so happy stuff...

I talked about Christmas Eve, and how my g-ma acted. Well, my sister and her husband went to her house fairly early to get dinner cooked. Roger and I always visit his g-parents before we visit my family, because it's really the only family (parent related) that he's got left, so it is very important to us to have some time with them. His g-ma just battled breast cancer and it left her with a very weak heart, so she's not very healthy since the treatments. We told everyone, including my g-ma personally, that we'd try to be there between 6:30 and 7pm. We got there at 7:04, and she was already complaining about starting dinner without us, and told everyone (before we got there) that since we were late she wanted to just start without us, and when she got way turned down by the rest of my family (refusing to start without us) she refused to turn off the food (that she didn't even do most of the cooking for) and just let it burn. So, when we sat down for dinner, she started in on us trying her damnedest to make us feel guilty for being late, and visiting with his family, and saying that we "should have seen the look on your mother's face when I said I was going to start without you." *sighs* We went through this same damn argument last year. Then she finds out that M&M won't be in Oklahoma for Christmas of 2008, and says, "Well, I guess Mandy and Roger will just have to help with dinner." I just looked at her and said, "Nope, we go and see his family, so we're busy." So, not only was Roger already in a sour mood, putting me in a depressed mood, but we go to spend time with her, and she tries to make us both feel guilty for wanting to visit his family...just topped the cake for me and completely ruined any fun I would have had.

I used to completely despise my mother's mother, and couldn't stand to be in her presence...but I actually enjoyed Christmas Eve at her house. I never *ever* thought that I would rather be at my mother's mother's house for CE over my g-ma's house....but this year, I did. My Mother's mother was the one that helped and hosted my bridal shower, and she busted her ass to get her carpets cleaned and her house suitable for company, and my own grandmother couldn't get over her own selfishness to even attend it. She wasn't there because she "can't stand the hostess," and lied to me in the process. She told me that the only reason she didn't come was because she was sick, I found out later that that wasn't the real reason she didn't come, and what the real reason was.

So, now, here again, her own stupid stubbornness and selfishness has won out over her love for me. She didn't come to my housewarming party, because of what happened on New Year's. She feels that she is owed an apology for the way she was treated as well as being thrown out for no reason, and she swears that she never said any of the stuff she said, and that she did not throw any fits. She also said that she doesn't think she owes anyone an apology for the embarrassing way she acted, and that it would be, "A cold day in hell," before she ever apologizes. She said that her family doesn't love her, doesn't care about her feelings, and neglects her, and the only person who even cared that she was hurting was Annette (a person that was at our party, but she's a whole 'nother story...). She said that her family chose strangers over her, and that no one even cared about her.

How do I know all of this stuff? Well, it's because I called her, to invite her to my housewarming. I was informed that if I didn't call her personally, she would use not getting an invite as an excuse not to come. I did *NOT* want her using me as an excuse not to come to my party, so I called to invite her personally. That is seriously all I had in mind when I called her...I hadn't even given NY's a second thought. That, and I had even talked to her once between NY's and this call, and she didn't bring it up. I said, "I don't know if P told you, but I'm having a housewarming." She replied, "Yea, she told me, but I didn't think anyone wanted me." So, not only was she going to use no invite as an excuse, but the rest of the conversation was her cornering me into telling her why she was kicked out on NY's. I tried 3 times to tell her that I was *not* the person she needed to be asking about that, and she needed to talk to my parents, but she just didn't listen. I went into that conversation so unprepared to be jumped on like that, and I just froze. I didn't know what to do or say after trying so hard to tell her I was not the one that she should be asking. So, I told her that my mom and dad did not appreciate her "drunks" comments that she kept making, and the complaining about the noise, and having no where to go sleep in the living room. That's when she went nuts, and just started telling me all those really hurtful things, claiming she never said those things, and so much more that's just not worth repeating...

After all the railroading I got in the tug-of-war match that L tried to put me through, I never wanted to be put in the middle of anything again...but here's my own grandmother putting me in the middle, and picking a fight with me, just so she can get to my mom and dad...It just wasn't fair. I didn't deserve that treatment. Then, she told someone else, that I was the one that was hurtful to her....and that now I owe her an apology....how does that work?? So, because I was so "mean and hurtful" to her, she didn't come to my party. *shakes head*

When you have so much love and respect for someone, and they do this to you....what are you supposed to do? Just let them keep hurting you? Just let them keep saying that you don't love or care for them, when you have done nothing to prove otherwise? Right now, I say, she thinks she's so alone, not loved and neglected...just wait until the consequences of her words last week, and her neglecting me for the second time on behalf of her own hateful selfishness makes her not have me for any holidays henceforth. She will not be seeing me on Easter dinner, her birthday, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, or even Christmas. I will stay home if I have to. When you are hurt by something, your natural born reaction is to yank your hurt appendage away from the thing causing the pain, and that is exactly what I intend to do.

Playing Catch-Up

*Post Warning*
I'm in a ranting mood, so this will be a very long read. Just thought I'd warn you!

A quick update about my neice, Madeleine Diane McQuade, She was born at 7:38am on December 9th, 2007! She was 8 lbs, 5 oz. I have a couple of pics to post, but they'll be at the bottom with the rest!

I also just thought I'd make a post about Christmas...I'd been putting it off, because this Christmas didn't go over very well, and it is the first Christmas that I didn't enjoy and just wished it was all over.

To start, Roger had been steadily getting in a worse and worse mood the closer we got to C. I found out a little later that it had to do with losing his dad so close to C, and them never really making up after the fight they had over the bitch that ended up murdering him. They had gotten to small talkish kind-of stuff, but never really made up. Anywho, when he gets in a bad mood, he usually takes it out on me because he has never really expressed himself to anyone until I came along, and now it's like I broke the dam and it all just rushes towards me during the emotional floods.

Well, anywho, lets just say that his mood just kept getting worse, even up to C Eve. We went to his g-parents house first, and that didn't help. Then we went to my g-ma's house, and...well...I think I'll reserve those feelings until we see what happens with my house warming party. So, her attitude dropped both Roger's and my moods even further, and made me wish C would just hurry up and go away...I had been going through a depressive mood to start the month, but had managed to work myself out of it, and then all this happens, and it just came flooding back. I had hoped that New Year's would be better.

So, New Year's didn't seem to go over any better. We had Roger's and Paula's b-day parties, and then did our normal NY thing, except my g-ma decided to tag along this time. Well, no one could really tell her not to come, because it was her daughter's b-day party, but we did kind-of give her a chance to stay; however, she blew that out the window almost right away. She started picking on Paula, saying it was "defending herself," she started calling everybody drunks and picking on them for drinking on NY, and then she started whining about people being in the living room and her not having a place to lay down. So, my mom tells her (from a group decision mind you) that my dad is going to take her home...o...m...g...you'd think a bomb landed in the room. She started in on being alone since her husband died in '93, and this being her first opportunity to remedy that, and no one can make her leave if she doesn't want to, and blah blah blah, I'm such a lonely old woman because no one loves me or pays attention to me kind-of stuff. Then she got really quiet and hid in a corner. Different sets of people tried to get her to sit back down, and I don't know what she said to some of them, but I heard later that she was quite mean and spiteful. So, my dad starts to take her home and the entire way out the door, she's screaming and crying about not staying where she's not wanted and she can tell when she's not wanted, and nobody wants her or cares about her...she threw what amounted to a 3 year old's temper tantrum, seriously, the entire way out of the door. Now, I can't really go into detail at this time as to what exactly led up to a small group of us deciding to give her one chance to "behave" in a sense, and if she didn't behave, that she'd have to go home.

I recently found out about something that really hurt my feelings and made me sad, then how she acted on Christmas and New Year's and even stories I've heard about last Christmas (which I wasn't part of, because I wasn't there to hear the stuff she said and did), so I'm kind-of giving her one more chance to see how it goes, and if she fails....then it won't make me very happy. I promise to clarify after I see how this Saturday goes.

So now that the holidays are all out of the way, and I am left with a slightly bitter taste left in my mouth, I've been trying to move on and get settled in our house. I'm still paying off the deposit for the gas, so my bill was $181.00 this month. Our water bill has evened out and we're paying about $45-50 a month for that. Our electric bill is averaging out to be about $115-120 a month.

Then we had to worry about that tree. We couldn't afford to pay someone to cut it up for us, so we had just left it for now. Well, Saturday, a big crew with a weird truck-crane thing drove through the neighborhoods picking up the piles of limbs everywhere. They picked-up what they could reach in our yard, and left the stuff on the house (which was fine by me, because I didn't want them to damage the house more by just picking it up with a crane). So, yesterday, Roger and Aaron hacked away with two little chainsaws. They got it mostly all cut out, but it got dark. It took them so long to figure out how to get that big limb down, that they ran out of time to cut once they finally got it down.

Okay! So! Picture time! You had to know that was coming. I have pictures of Maddie, Christmas loot, my boys working hard on the tree, and the after math. Lots of them!

Maddie:

Maddie and Daddy:

Maddie and Mommy:


Now, Christmas:
My tree, with just the lights on it:

Just the lights, no light:


And with all the fixins:


Loot!
Gifts from Roger:




Gifts from Miranda and Marcus:


Gifts from Mom and Dad:




Gift from Aunt Paula:

Gift from Roger's g-ma:


On to the Tree
The Boys working hard:


My husband:

Aaron:

Aftermath:


Poor Tree:

Showing it's age:

It Just Makes Me Sad..

I'm sure you know all the recent hype with Britney Spears, but I just heard about it today. I didn't really care for her all that much, but seeing her like this just makes me so sad. Starting with her relationship with "the bad boy" everything just added up to be a recipe for disaster for her. I watch what people say, and how incredibly hurtful they can be, and it just makes me hope for her well being. She is definitely hurting, and needs to reach out to someone who will listen to her instead of just use her for publicity and money.

When I watched the clips from her being carted off in an ambulance, I could feel her pain. I know that may sound stupid..but it's true. She's very hurt, scared, and lost. She found out the hard way that coping with stardom before you are an adult can take a heavy toll on your soul and emotional well being.

I truly wish her well thoughts, and hope she can work through her hurts, if for no one else, but at least her babies.

**Edit**
01/05/2008 at 3:03pm:
You know...I was just thinking...I wonder if her situation hits me harder because we have the exact same birthdate, almost to the hour. So we're almost exactly the same age, and I see where she is and how she's struggling, and I see where I'm at and I think about where I'd be with 2 young babies and like 2 divorces under my belt - not even adding the fame and fortune to the list. I think I would be in a pretty bad place myself.

Following the Band Wagon

The Recipe For Amanda

3 parts Drive 2 parts Impishness 1 part Sweetness Splash of Passion Shake vigorously

What's the Recipe for Your Personality?

I also watched The Last Mimzy, and thought it was a very cute movie. I liked the story and the flow. I'd give it 3.9 stars out of 5.

Happy New Year 2008!