Monday, January 21, 2008


May be an even longer rant, only without pictures this time...just thought I'd warn you.

So, I mentioned that I was having a housewarming on Saturday. I wanted to talk about some things that I promised to clarify and also how the party went.

I guess we'll start with how the party went. I made a chicken, mushroom type gravy that you put over rice, with salad, and carrots as the veggies. I think it was a hit, and everyone enjoyed my cooking, which is a relief! ;o) For dessert, I made Watergate Salad, which also seemed to be a big hit. After everyone was stuffed, food was put away and most everyone started watching Smokin' Aces. My mom, dad and I didn't partake in the movie, because we were talking and discussing other matters. When the movie ended, most of us participated in a fun round of penny ante poker. I didn't even win a hand...awww...*pouts* My mom, dad, and aunt went home and the rest of us participated in Dance Dance Revolution matches. DDR is so much fun when you have a group of people willing to try it out and have some fun. When we were all pooped out from dancing our booties off, we split up and did different things. Some were watching TV in the office, some were watching TV in the living room, some of us stayed in the bedroom (where I had DDR set up) and talked. Eventually most of us gravitated to the office and ended up watching Snakes on a Place. Then everyone went home. I was told that everyone had fun, and I sure hope so! on to the not so happy stuff...

I talked about Christmas Eve, and how my g-ma acted. Well, my sister and her husband went to her house fairly early to get dinner cooked. Roger and I always visit his g-parents before we visit my family, because it's really the only family (parent related) that he's got left, so it is very important to us to have some time with them. His g-ma just battled breast cancer and it left her with a very weak heart, so she's not very healthy since the treatments. We told everyone, including my g-ma personally, that we'd try to be there between 6:30 and 7pm. We got there at 7:04, and she was already complaining about starting dinner without us, and told everyone (before we got there) that since we were late she wanted to just start without us, and when she got way turned down by the rest of my family (refusing to start without us) she refused to turn off the food (that she didn't even do most of the cooking for) and just let it burn. So, when we sat down for dinner, she started in on us trying her damnedest to make us feel guilty for being late, and visiting with his family, and saying that we "should have seen the look on your mother's face when I said I was going to start without you." *sighs* We went through this same damn argument last year. Then she finds out that M&M won't be in Oklahoma for Christmas of 2008, and says, "Well, I guess Mandy and Roger will just have to help with dinner." I just looked at her and said, "Nope, we go and see his family, so we're busy." So, not only was Roger already in a sour mood, putting me in a depressed mood, but we go to spend time with her, and she tries to make us both feel guilty for wanting to visit his family...just topped the cake for me and completely ruined any fun I would have had.

I used to completely despise my mother's mother, and couldn't stand to be in her presence...but I actually enjoyed Christmas Eve at her house. I never *ever* thought that I would rather be at my mother's mother's house for CE over my g-ma's house....but this year, I did. My Mother's mother was the one that helped and hosted my bridal shower, and she busted her ass to get her carpets cleaned and her house suitable for company, and my own grandmother couldn't get over her own selfishness to even attend it. She wasn't there because she "can't stand the hostess," and lied to me in the process. She told me that the only reason she didn't come was because she was sick, I found out later that that wasn't the real reason she didn't come, and what the real reason was.

So, now, here again, her own stupid stubbornness and selfishness has won out over her love for me. She didn't come to my housewarming party, because of what happened on New Year's. She feels that she is owed an apology for the way she was treated as well as being thrown out for no reason, and she swears that she never said any of the stuff she said, and that she did not throw any fits. She also said that she doesn't think she owes anyone an apology for the embarrassing way she acted, and that it would be, "A cold day in hell," before she ever apologizes. She said that her family doesn't love her, doesn't care about her feelings, and neglects her, and the only person who even cared that she was hurting was Annette (a person that was at our party, but she's a whole 'nother story...). She said that her family chose strangers over her, and that no one even cared about her.

How do I know all of this stuff? Well, it's because I called her, to invite her to my housewarming. I was informed that if I didn't call her personally, she would use not getting an invite as an excuse not to come. I did *NOT* want her using me as an excuse not to come to my party, so I called to invite her personally. That is seriously all I had in mind when I called her...I hadn't even given NY's a second thought. That, and I had even talked to her once between NY's and this call, and she didn't bring it up. I said, "I don't know if P told you, but I'm having a housewarming." She replied, "Yea, she told me, but I didn't think anyone wanted me." So, not only was she going to use no invite as an excuse, but the rest of the conversation was her cornering me into telling her why she was kicked out on NY's. I tried 3 times to tell her that I was *not* the person she needed to be asking about that, and she needed to talk to my parents, but she just didn't listen. I went into that conversation so unprepared to be jumped on like that, and I just froze. I didn't know what to do or say after trying so hard to tell her I was not the one that she should be asking. So, I told her that my mom and dad did not appreciate her "drunks" comments that she kept making, and the complaining about the noise, and having no where to go sleep in the living room. That's when she went nuts, and just started telling me all those really hurtful things, claiming she never said those things, and so much more that's just not worth repeating...

After all the railroading I got in the tug-of-war match that L tried to put me through, I never wanted to be put in the middle of anything again...but here's my own grandmother putting me in the middle, and picking a fight with me, just so she can get to my mom and dad...It just wasn't fair. I didn't deserve that treatment. Then, she told someone else, that I was the one that was hurtful to her....and that now I owe her an does that work?? So, because I was so "mean and hurtful" to her, she didn't come to my party. *shakes head*

When you have so much love and respect for someone, and they do this to you....what are you supposed to do? Just let them keep hurting you? Just let them keep saying that you don't love or care for them, when you have done nothing to prove otherwise? Right now, I say, she thinks she's so alone, not loved and neglected...just wait until the consequences of her words last week, and her neglecting me for the second time on behalf of her own hateful selfishness makes her not have me for any holidays henceforth. She will not be seeing me on Easter dinner, her birthday, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, or even Christmas. I will stay home if I have to. When you are hurt by something, your natural born reaction is to yank your hurt appendage away from the thing causing the pain, and that is exactly what I intend to do.


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