My Mommy Has Spoken
My mommy had a few more words to say, and she wanted me to share. Just so *everyone* knows what she has to say: (Pete is my daddy, just fyi)
I thought about all this fighting with the "he said, she said," and want to make something perfectly clear. New Years Eve Oma was *not* kicked out. The reason she was taken home is because she said she was tired and needed some sleep and she had no place to go. She can't drive so I told her "Don't worry about that, Oma, Pete will take you home so you can...." and before I could finish my sentence, which was going to be "so you can get some sleep," she threw the biggest hissy fit and said hurtful and bad things. This was at 9:30pm and everyone knows that my New Years Eve parties last until 5:00am or longer. I knew she wasn't going to be able to stay up that long.
The other comments before this happened is typical behavior and everyone tried to ignore it, but let me say we know that if Oma doesn't get her sleep, she gets worse as time goes on, not just with her behavior but her stumbling and falling down. I didn't want that to happen so I offered her a ride home. If that is wrong then so be it!
No matter what anyone said or did after that was any good. Oma made up her mind she was being kicked out and unwanted etc. The things she said before and now and that night is unacceptable behavior. No excuses anymore. I put my foot down. It must stop!
I feel it is sad that it has come to this but nothing can be done. Her mind is made up and she will never see or believe the truth of it. Pete said he was sorry her feelings were hurt and that she is loved but that is not good enough for her. She can and will have her way no matter what.
So now you know, I posted this so those who are in the dark can understand the why and how the Boggs house is divided.
For those who know my history, they know that I had an unhappy childhood. I don't usually let it get to me, or so I thought; However, I learned something this week. I made a terrible mistake as a parent.
When a child is abused and beat down and made to feel they are not worth anything they grow up and let others treat them the same way because they don't know any different. My way was to try and be the peacekeeper no matter what the cost. I let people run over me and mistreat me, but I just went back for more just so the fighting would stop. So peace would be kept and I could have my family and friends. I used to think I must have done something to deserve it. I was wrong!
The mistake I made was letting my children see me being treated this way and not having enough self respect to put a stop to it. You see children learn from their parents and my kids learned to take crap and to be the peacekeeper but got run over in their lives in the process. I realize now what I have done but I can say I am so proud of my girls for making the change and saying, "Hey stop that! I am worth something and don't need to take this crap any longer!"
I learned something from my girls. I have value and my opinions count and you can't treat me this way anymore. I will say I am sorry when *I* have done something wrong but not just to keep the peace.
If you are a young parent…heed these words… don't let people talk down to you and push you around especially in front of your children. Kids are always watching and learning.
See you can teach an old dog new tricks!
I thought about all this fighting with the "he said, she said," and want to make something perfectly clear. New Years Eve Oma was *not* kicked out. The reason she was taken home is because she said she was tired and needed some sleep and she had no place to go. She can't drive so I told her "Don't worry about that, Oma, Pete will take you home so you can...." and before I could finish my sentence, which was going to be "so you can get some sleep," she threw the biggest hissy fit and said hurtful and bad things. This was at 9:30pm and everyone knows that my New Years Eve parties last until 5:00am or longer. I knew she wasn't going to be able to stay up that long.
The other comments before this happened is typical behavior and everyone tried to ignore it, but let me say we know that if Oma doesn't get her sleep, she gets worse as time goes on, not just with her behavior but her stumbling and falling down. I didn't want that to happen so I offered her a ride home. If that is wrong then so be it!
No matter what anyone said or did after that was any good. Oma made up her mind she was being kicked out and unwanted etc. The things she said before and now and that night is unacceptable behavior. No excuses anymore. I put my foot down. It must stop!
I feel it is sad that it has come to this but nothing can be done. Her mind is made up and she will never see or believe the truth of it. Pete said he was sorry her feelings were hurt and that she is loved but that is not good enough for her. She can and will have her way no matter what.
So now you know, I posted this so those who are in the dark can understand the why and how the Boggs house is divided.
For those who know my history, they know that I had an unhappy childhood. I don't usually let it get to me, or so I thought; However, I learned something this week. I made a terrible mistake as a parent.
When a child is abused and beat down and made to feel they are not worth anything they grow up and let others treat them the same way because they don't know any different. My way was to try and be the peacekeeper no matter what the cost. I let people run over me and mistreat me, but I just went back for more just so the fighting would stop. So peace would be kept and I could have my family and friends. I used to think I must have done something to deserve it. I was wrong!
The mistake I made was letting my children see me being treated this way and not having enough self respect to put a stop to it. You see children learn from their parents and my kids learned to take crap and to be the peacekeeper but got run over in their lives in the process. I realize now what I have done but I can say I am so proud of my girls for making the change and saying, "Hey stop that! I am worth something and don't need to take this crap any longer!"
I learned something from my girls. I have value and my opinions count and you can't treat me this way anymore. I will say I am sorry when *I* have done something wrong but not just to keep the peace.
If you are a young parent…heed these words… don't let people talk down to you and push you around especially in front of your children. Kids are always watching and learning.
See you can teach an old dog new tricks!
posted by Amanda at 11:44 AM
1 Comments:
Amanda:
I am not trying to get in your family business. I love all you guys. I talked with Paula several times about the behavior of Oma. I hope this can help the family find some peace. This just breaks my heart.
I don't know if Paula ever mentioned to you that my mother is a schizophrinic. Her behavior can be outragous. One moment she will tell you that she loves us and the next time, she hates us all and wish never had us. We are evil one minute and the next we are angels. I have had to live with these outbusts all my life. Taking in consideration that Oma is not a schizophrinic but the stroke really has changed her behavior and probably effected a part of her brain which controls the outbursts. Like my mother, she will tell us one thing and will not remember ever telling us that she told us these awful things. It is very hard, very hurtful at times. I do know how your family is feels. I just want you all to know that there are places where you can go to find the tools to help coop with this. I know all of you are loving, strong, individuals and you would do anything for each other. I guess that is why I love you all sooo much. I hope that you don't get offended by my comment. I just hope that by seeing a different percpective. Again, I love you guys and this is just making me sad!
Love you guys
suzan
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