Thursday, January 15, 2009

Frustration

It's the new year, welcome 2009. What always comes along with the change of a new year? Lose Weight Pushers. Not just on T.V., but on the Internet, in the mail, it doesn't matter. I'm surprised there isn't a "You're Fat" list out there, where LWPs can call to harass you. So, where my frustration comes from:

Have you ever watched the commercials for Gyms, workout videos, diet pills, drinks, shakes, etc.? They almost always have already thin to thinnish people in them. The only ones that have actual overweight people to help sell their plan is the Gastric Bypass or LapBand surgeries. This just makes me want to slap the people in them, not make me want to run out and buy/join their products. What if you aren't ready to go thorough a major surgery and somewhat admit defeat? Almost like you weren't good enough to get rid of it yourself..

So..where does someone who has a problem, is morbidly obese, and desperate for help, start? Do any of these LWPs give you the tools to have somewhere to start or actually help you to know what you can do to help yourself? Of course not...

What if you have other medical issues working against you as well as your size?

What if you have a very limited budget and can't afford expensive programs like Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers? What if you can't afford the expensive pills (that probably don't work anyway) or workout videos (that are so taxing for someone morbidly obese, because they're made for someone who is already somewhat fit)?

What if you don't want to eat the same thing every day, like salads, or just limit yourself to just liquids? What if you really don't eat that much to begin with?

This has been an ongoing battle with me for most of my life. It is so hard for me to talk about, because I get so depressed about it, it's so hard for me to admit that I am just out of control, and the hardest part of all is for me to admit that I need help. Well...I need help...

I was getting into a good routine, and losing weight, once upon a time...then I broke my foot and was immobilized for almost 4 months. I not only gained every bit of the 30-40 pounds I'd worked so hard to get off, but I also gained more. I have problems with my foot now, it aches frequently. I can't stand or walk for long periods of time, before I really start wearing down, and I can't breathe properly because of my asthma...So...I guess my big question is...Where does someone like me start? Where can I go to get the help I so desperately need and want, without the ridicule of someone who doesn't understand my position? I get embarrassed to ask for help, I get embarrassed to ask where to start, I get embarrassed to admit I have a problem...Well, where do I go from here?

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Learning New Things

So, it's been some time since my last post and the reason for that being the end of the year is so hectic. Birthdays and holidays, plans for this and that....just leaves us running practically from Thanksgiving on.

Now that that is all out of the way, I can catch up a little. We had a good Christmas, celebrated Eve with Roger's family and then Day with my parents and O and P. We didn't do our Christmas with my family until the following Saturday because M&M were in Texas, and J,S,&M had other family taking the week.

We had lots of good food and company with Roger's family and we made out like bandits. We got clothes, a serving platter, 1 set of sheets with matching comforter, computer games, body washes and lotions, a room diffuser, and money for birthdays.

We exchanged gifts on the 27th and we got hand-me-down dishes from my aunt's hope chest, a Magic Bullet, manly tools, a beautiful necklace and mp3 player from my husband, an awesome necklace set from J&S, money, flash sticks, a roasting pan, a fish net, a silicone pot holder, a new shaver from me, computer game, a Santa, and I finally got my OSU Medical shirt from Miranda.

New Year's was mostly calm. We had only a couple of extra people at my parent's house than we do every Saturday. We played a few cards, drank a little, rang in 2009 and went home.

Slowly but surely, life seems to be returning to a somewhat normal pace...well, for the most part. I was sitting at the laptop in our recliner doing normal computer stuff, and Bella was being particularly aggravating that afternoon. She was driving me and Roger absolutly nuts. Then I kept feeling fuzzy on my foot, and I'd boot it away and go about my business. After a few times of this Roger comes in from the back of the house and shrieks, "Oh Hell!" or something to that extent. I look up at him and ask him what's the problem. He looks at me and says, "Mouse!" I do a little stomach flip and look down. Not even a foot away from my feet, Bella is proudly displaying her catch. I think she was putting it on my feet and saying, "Here Mommy! I caught this just for you!" and when I kept booting it away, she'd get more aggravating. So, needless to say, we discovered we have a little mouser, and she was way proud of herself.

Other than that, and being sick, the New Year has started pretty uneventfully.

Hope everyone else is doing well!