Friday, December 02, 2005

Happy Birthday To Me!!

--I can not believe it that I actually made it to 24 years old. ::sighs:: At least I'm happy in love on this birthday. Best present I could have asked for. The last time I had a love or even a boyfriend on a birthday was my 19th...and I lost my virginity to that asshole on that day...quite the memorable birthday...

This one will be better.

--They went to court, one side filed for a continuance. The other side got their temporary restraining order renewed because the judge felt there was probable cause to keep it in tact until the permanent one is either issued or denied. ((FYI: You are mad at me for no reason, because the judge never saw or heard and will never see or hear about anything that had anything to do with what was said between the two of us and that you were convinced they would use against you. I want you to know how much you hurt me, and continue to hurt me by your taking out your issues with them out on me. I just don't deserve it. I've been nothing but a loyal, understanding, caring, and loving friend to you...))


Blogger Amanda said...

Okay, that was just said to be spiteful. Everything that I said was my own interpretation of what I was told, so you basically just called me an idiot on my own blog, and under an anony post.

Real grown-up of you.

So, yes, I deleted it. Isn't that what you would do to accusational, and spiteful things said in an anony post? It was my birthday for god's just couldn't play nice for one day...not even to me...::frowns sadly::

2:09 AM  
Blogger Lynlee said...

Is that being directed at me?

10:46 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

No, it was being directed at whoever left that unfriendly comment post that I deleted. They posted as anony so I don't know who it was.

1:16 PM  
Blogger Lynlee said...

Okay. Wasn't me. I would hope you wouldn't accuse me of doing something like that. If I had had something to say on the matter, I wouldn't have hidden my name.

I didn't make it to the post office this week - but your b-day gift will go out Monday. Sorry that it will be late.

10:44 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Nope. Wasn't accusing. I truely do not know who it was, but it was someone who knows you and was saying some hateful things towards me that I not only did not appreciate, but hurt me because my statement in this post was neutral, but was just my intrepretation of what I was told. It worried me, the outcome, and it was on my mind, so I wanted to say at least a small something about it.

The comment that was aimed at you was in the post itself. I am remorseful that you have not been speaking to me, or trusting me, or feeling that I have betrayed you. And I have been assured that information will not be used. I whine about you not talking to me, just as I whined about them not talking to me. I feel that I am being punished (by whatever side when they aren't talking to me) for things said that I really had no control over. That's all...

To tell you the truth, that surprizes me...Since you think that I don't care for you and Paxy anymore, I didn't expect to even hear anything about my b-day from you. I am grateful...if you hated me, you wouldn't even do that. Thank you.

12:07 PM  
Blogger Lynlee said...

I know you care. I care. I never said I didn't. In fact, the only reason I haven't cut you out of my life completely is because I care about you.

You say you know me. In that case you know that I find it incredibly difficult to trust anyone. I trust no one but myself 100% - but you had earned some. Then you told me yourself that you had shared something I had told you in confidence. THAT is what I am upset about. Not only that, but then you tried to lie to me when I asked you what you said. I don't see how you can expect me to be anything other than hurt and angry.

As for whether or not they will use it in court... I wouldn't put all of your eggs into the "they won't use it" basket. Don't you think that the timing of their reappearance in your life is more than just a little convenient? Just in time to get some information when they know they're taking me to court. Call me a skeptic, but I won't believe it until I see it.

2:31 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

I am truely apologetic that you feel I betrayed you. I am truely sorry. I never meant to seem that I was lying to you, but I swear that I do not know how Cat found out about it and to tell Stacey about it. What I said was very little, and not even the entire conversation, you read it, you know that already. But, I've already said everything I believe that I can say to support my side, and I don't think that you will truely believe me until your day in court actually passes. Until then we will just go through our niceities, and secretly worry about the other and wonder how each other is doing.

I have stated my claim of total neutrality from that point on, and I won't be feeding information to either side anymore. That is what was getting me in trouble with both sides, and I was just trying to help both sides. I never meant to hurt or betray anyone. I wish you could believe that. I know you don't believe me, but I am a trustworthy person, and I know that you don't trust easily...I used to be the same. Maybe one day we can begin to fix and work on the friendship we once had, and somehow you'll begin to believe me...but until then...I'm sorry. I'm sorry any of this even got started...

3:03 PM  

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