Irritation

--Friday night was a good night. My love took me to Olive Garden for dinner and then a movie afterwards. We saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It was actually not a bad movie, we both seemed to like it. We went back to his apartment and watched Exorcist: The Beginning and What Lies Beneath. He fell asleep during The Exorcist and we talked throughout the entire second movie. It was 3am before we went to bed and fell asleep very shortly after settling onto the pillow at about 3:15am.

--Well..I had an irritating day yesterday and poor Roger had to suffer through it with me. So it started with his apartment complex deciding to fix the roof at 7:30-8am Saturday morning. So, neither of us could sleep again until well after Noon. We laid back down after things quieted a bit, and I slept for another 2 hours or so. He couldn't really sleep, so he just laid there while I slept, isn't that sweet? ::grins:: So after I wake up we kiss and cuddle and I found out a very aggrivating and frustrating side affect of Ultram/Tramadol. I hadn't been taking it until Friday night because I hadn't really been hurting that much. For some reason I started hurting pretty badly again and took some then and again Saturday morning. Well...all I have to say is what a man named Paul G. Cogen put it best at saying, "I seem to have a very laid back, 'so what attitude' which is foreign to my normal nature. As well as affecting my sex life. Although I respond naturally, climaxing seems to be out of the question." Roger was very sweet and understanding about it though and just held me while I was very upset. If you've never had that happen before...it leaves very negative feelings in your head like fear of disappointing your significant other, feeling inadequate, dysfunctional, defective...but he reassured me, and told me he loved me again, which I really needed to hear. I guess I'm pmsing too, which doesn't help, so I'll just need to be reassured of some things more often than I usually would. I had a sudden thought and decided to research the side effects of that drug and found some comfort in knowing that it isn't me, and I'm not broken somehow, and there was someone else out there that had felt my frustration and pain. So...I was getting a bit of a sore throat and was itchy from a new shampoo I'd decided to try (I have to be careful with trying new things like soaps, shampoos, and lotions because I can have some pretty fierce allergic reactions), so we decided to go to Walmart to pick up some different shampoo and cough drops for me. After buying what we needed and leaving Walmart..my car wouldn't start. We sat in the parking lot for God knows how long trying to get my car to turn over (it is getting a new ignition switch today after this mess). That was so aggrivating and embarrassing...thanks to my oh so reliable car. You ever have days where you just feel like you don't get a break? He said I handled my high stress and frustration well, which surprized me. I thought he'd run screaming from me when he got a taste of my temper. Yes, it wasn't directed at him...more at myself at first and then my car.


--I'm pretty sure that he's here to stick around for a while. He is so what I have needed for so long...in a way I feel like I'm on such unknown and unfamiliar territory with him. We work things out together, and stay involved in each other's thoughts and feelings. We don't keep things from each other, and feel comfortable with sharing even embarrassing thoughts and emotions. I hope we continue to keep that level of communication, because to me that's important for feuling a long lasting serious relationship. Okay, okay...enough mushy. :o)