Thursday, May 12, 2005

Sometimes Life Drags..

--:: sighs :: My manager scheduled me to close alone I was irritated. Then the girl I was switching with for tomorrow..he scheduled her to close instead, and she called me today to tell me. I lost it, I was so angry I had a breakdown right there at my register in front of the assistant manager and a customer..I don't even remember the customer, that is how utterly upset I was. And with me, when I get that angry, I cry. Which just makes me even worse, because I get pissed off more because I'm crying and people look at me like "Oh, she's crying like a girl to get her way" when that's not it at all. I'm actually crying because when I'm that angry I have no control over my emotions, and if someone were to get in my face I'd probably knock them flat. Anywho, I was tempted to walk out right then, but my mom talked me out of it. The assistant ended up asking two people to stay and help close though. Neither were front closers, but the two extra sets of hands helped a lot.

--Then while closing a guy that I had had an interest in, and I thought had one in me told me that him and his woman had split. Well we had had a previous conversation once about if that were to happen he'd come my way. Well his coming my way meant he asked me to give him head tonight. I asked if he just wanted a fuck buddy then he said "No, I just wanted a one time thing, something to get my rocks off and go home and sleep" well that ruined that interest in him and killed anything I thought he had for me. Aren't guys just so tactful? At least he was honest about it, I guess that's a positive way to look at it :o/

--Then Mike tells me last night that he wants to pick up where we left off, when he just faded. I ask him where exactly that was, and he tells me that he started likeing me as more than a friend but I was seeing John. So I tell him that I had liked him too, and had stopped dating John about the time he dropped off the planet, so he says, "Major suck on my part." Heh..ya, you could say that. I told him we will just have to basically start over with a friendship and see. I am still seeing Lorr, and I told him that I will not hurt her. I will talk to him, and such. I'm the sucker for


Blogger Lynlee said...

I'm the same way - I get really pissed and start bawling like a baby! I hate it! I wish I knew the secret to being really angry and dry at the same time. lol

That guy sounds like a dick. Glad you found out before it went any further.

I think its great that you are willing to give people "additional" chances... Its a quality I admire since I have the hardest time doing it myself. I'm working very hard on being more forgiving and accepting of the faults of others (and myself).

How is the lovely Miss Lorr these days?

10:27 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

The step after the crying is uncontrollable shaking. So not only do I look like a fool cause I'm bawling like a little girl, but I can't hold or write or barely stand cause my entire body shakes. Nice, huh?

Most guys that I'm attracted to are, end of story for me....

Unfortunately, giving additional chances gets me hurt...everytime. And yet...I still do it...

I haven't talked to Lorr lately, she's been ill apparently. She still loves me ((sighs)) and signed her letter "your lovely frisky Canadian gal" haha. I just don't know what to do....::cries::

1:34 AM  
Blogger Lynlee said...

Well, stop doing it if they're gonna hurt you! lol Easier said that done, I suppose!

Hope Lorr is feeling better soon!

7:38 AM  

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