A Little at a Time...

This has been very hard on me, emotionally, mentally, and even physically...

It's hard to believe she's really gone, at some points...like I just expect her to come around the corner or pop out from under the bed. Sometimes, I could swear that I heard her... I just miss her...and all her silly and sometimes annoying quirks she had. I would so love to hear her crunching on my ramen in the kitchen again...or for me to walk into my house and smell that she'd poo'ed on my floor again...or listen to her little mew and chatter for hours when there was a buggy on the ceiling...or her little chirrups she'd make when she found a spot on the floor that no one else could see...just to know she's there...

I have finally gotten to a point where I'm sad because it was so sudden and because Sugar is crying and looking for her, but not so much because I feel guilty, like "there had to be something more that I could have done for her" or "did I miss something with her because I was putting so much of my attention and energy into getting Bella well?" kind of thinking.

I plan on, at some point when I can look at her without just crying my eyes out, making a little photo slide show or something, to show a little timeline on her...but I can seem to only make baby steps, and can only do a little at a time...